This morning I received the news that my Dad passed away. I hesitate to write such personal news on a blog, but I know there are people in my life that read my usual junk here and do care about this.
My Dad and I had a great and yet hard earned relationship. For most of my life, we have been separated by many miles or by choices that he made. Those choices and those miles played a large part in how I grew up emotionally. My Mother gets all the credit for being my parent, because she was my parent. But, even though my Dad did very little parenting with me, he was my Dad. We spent hours and hours talking about music, movies and most importantly, the anger and hurt over the choices he made with drinking and other relationships. It was through these talks that we developed a bond that I know he held very special in his heart. He died with the knowlege that we didnt have a unspoken word left between us. That I loved him, forgave him, and carry his spirit inside me.
I was able to see him about 2 weeks ago. I knew he was ready to go. They had a very nice ceremony celebrating his life. Many nice things were said about him. He touched many lives through his career as a educator, and as a sponsor in AA. Those were things he was proud of. He accepted the praise in a way he always did, with grace. He knew he wasnt a angel, but he was a man that tried to do his best. That is what I take from him and try to live. One of the last things we laughed about in my final days with him was a comment he heard that he thought was a little over the top, I mentioned it to him after his celebration and he winked at me and said " I know they meant well, but you and your brother are my greatest joy and I will be with you forever". Its easy to feel emotions that can take away from all of the good, but at this moment, I feel peace. Peace for him, and peace for me.
I love you Dad. I am glad you felt it from me for my 44 years as your son.
7 comments:
Mike~
I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad. You are lucky that you were able to share some good moments with him recently. He will be your newest angel, watching over you and your family through these difficult next few weeks as well as guiding you in the years to come. My sympathy to all of you~
JR
Mike
Sorry to hear the news.
Glad that you where able to reconnect with him before it was to late and you looked back on it with regret as many stuburn people do. Hope that you can find comfort in the time you had with him and with the help of youre faith and family. God Bless
Peace continue to be with you. My phone is on.
K
Mike,
At times in my life, words fail me. I just can't seem to find the right ones to really express what I feel. I am glad you seem to be at peace and you and your dad put the past behind you and just loved each other. You know I'm just a call away, anytime day or night. You are my buddy, my life long friend and my family.
The last time I saw your dad was the day you were here and we went to lunch. I noticed the way he looked at you and I felt how proud he was in you. I'm really happy you both got to that point and came to a complete circle. I can tell you from experience, loved ones live forever inside of you. You can feel them at times. Your dad will be with you and Dave, forever. Of that I have no doubt.
Always your friend, Jeff
Mike~
What an awesome picture of your hands together. A great memory for you.
JR
Mike - so sorry to hear this news. But it's wonderful that you got to spend time with your Dad before his passing and get your relationship on track. This was a beautiful tribute - in picture and in words.
Oh Mike....I am so, so sorry. We've had such a crazy week and I haven't checked blogs or email for several days.
I just wrote a note to your dad and was going to mail it tomorrow. This makes me so, so sad.
I know how much you loved him, and I am proud of you both for overcoming the past and getting to a place of love and understanding. That speaks volumes. I'll write more in another space.
Blessings and Peace.
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